all apologies
Okay, so still no fashion post. I’ve been too emotionally knackered this past week to get into making all the images and getting the commentary right.
I’d talk about the reasons why I’m emotionally knackered but I will save those for when I feel like airing out a lot of laundry all over wordpress.
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I’ll be patient. Good luck with he emotional knackering ( :
In the mean time I’ll take a turn letting out some thoughts. You might appreciate them. I had the strangest dream last night. I’ve been really happy with my life for the last few months. I wake up every morning happy to be me and happy to live my life. Which is strange because I’ve been employing the depressive method of doubt ever since my roommate and too close of a friend scared me into calling the police with her talk of suicide. I feel like I’m almost over it. But last night I had this dream where there was a man sitting inside a room talking to a video camera. Like a video log. He was holding up a microchip and had said something bad about it. Then he said, well at least I can still kill myself with it. At this point he demonstrated slicing through his white t-shirt. I broke into the room stole it from him and threw it across the street. It shattered into a million pieces. A news woman knelt over it. Her knees rested in a pool of hydrochloric acid. She looked at me and told me the chip was actually the man’s brain and there was very little chance I could recover it.
Sometimes I wonder, am I only content because I think less than I used to? I feel like sometimes saving myself requires destroying unique inquisitive aspects of myself.
But I was thinking about it today, is a microchip carrying my brain the same thing as my brain, or is that a different issue altogether?
I hope these less than inspiring questions don’t find you at the wrong time.
Eva
18 March 2010 at 10:52 pm
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I wonder the same thing sometimes, as if I’m doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and unhappiness simply because of the amount I think. When I was depressed a few years ago I refused help for the longest time simply because there was a part of me that didn’t want to lose myself, which means there had to have been some amount of self-love in me somewhere. It’s an interesting question, one that I often wish didn’t have to exist in the first place.
Also as for the chip/brain issue, on a purely physical level I don’t think any machine can replicate the nuances of the brain. I’m not entirely sure where to take this idea, but I feel there are things about us that cannot be duplicated in non-human form.
Thanks for sharing this stuff, it’s really interesting to think about.
will
18 March 2010 at 11:53 pm
like tonsillitis
Eva
22 March 2010 at 11:22 pm