i know you’ll help us when you’re feeling better
This past week has been an up-and-down rollercoaster for me. It’s contained some of the best moments of my life combined with some not-so-great ones. By no means the worst moments, just ones that really aren’t so hot in comparison. And to get them out of the way now, I will list them briefly. All week I had been attacked by nerves (I suppose for something good, though the nerves were not), had to battle off a stomach bug, and then today someone tried to charge $265 worth of stuff to my check card. Fortunately, all these situations are now pretty much resolved.
Now, for the more cerebral bit. Over time I’ve realized that I have spent a lot of time looking down on myself, feeling hopeless and worthless and on edge among other things. But now I’m slowly coming around to the fact that it’s not worth anything at all. I’m not worthless, not hopeless, and things usually will be okay. Even if I have to repeat it in my head 30,000 times. I am making a conscious effort to stop wasting my time on such petty nothingness and just enjoy life as it is, no matter what comes next. It’s an uphill battle, as certain thoughts love to grab hold and then hold on like they’ve been superglued on, but I can do this. I just have to gain the confidence and believe in myself. Now that may seem like a major duh, but, for someone who has struggled with confidence his whole life, gaining this ground feels like something completely new.
Also, the fashion post is coming soon, as soon as I figure out what I’ll be able to make it look like considering the amount of time I’ll have to make it good. But I promise it’ll be here this week, possibly as soon as tomorrow.
And last, but definitely not least, I would like to thank anyone who still takes the time out to read this space. I know that to some posting a fair amount of personal laundry on the internet can be really creepy, and I’m happy everyone here so far has dealt with everything in such a mature manner. I feel so full of love just typing this that I can’t fully explain the gratitude I feel. Thank you so much, and I hope to converse with you soon. Wherever you are.
